I’m staring at a letter from some big little person.
All importance and no sense.
It is a backwardly constructed snipey missile of no sense.
Some innocent postie delivered it.
Perhaps an eager unreading office runner printed and posted it.
But it all started with a lot of common and not a lot of sense.
Then it flew into my tuesday afternoon.
Uninvited projectile of disruption and accusation.
Pointed and nasty and cold and stupid.
What is happening to common sense?
Why has this keyboard replaced that phone?
Not the kind of ache that is a yearning.. and yet maybe it is that too. Simply unknown.
A dull continuous pain.
Every thought a step going downwards.
Where are we going? Who shot that albatross again?
There was a man who lived the life. The life everyone is supposed to live. He accumulated things and thanked and wore the suits that he was supposed to wear. He had the family, the job, the spiritual way, the right breakfast cereal. He was at work when he had to be and at home when he had to be. He knew all the quotes, had seen all the movies. He knew where to eat and where to visit should you ever find yourself in Alaska. He was a miracle man in every place at once and holding everything together. This man was the captain of a big fat destiny called “A Real Life”. He spoke correctly, he was funny, he even remembered everyones names and birthdays. He was appropriately sad when someone died and then was able to move on and learn. Oh how he learned. He excelled! He was quick to take the load and slow to lean on others. This man, could even tie all the known knots without every really learning how. He was impeccable yet down to earth. Wealthy yet humble. Handsome but never vain. The boss of it all but wouldn’t dream of putting the rest of us to work… or to shame.
He had it all everything that he was to supposed to have and be.
But do you know something?
He’d never ever thought to make popcorn with the lid off.
I also heard that he had never made a smiley face in a piece of devon.
For the prayers that were said and the hands that were steady.
For hearing and helping.
And now just for this quiet and the perfect bath.
You’ve probably heard that story about the sun and the wind having a debate over who could make a traveller remove his coat. The wind tries to use force to blow the coat off but the traveller wraps their coat tighter about them. The sun just comes out all shiny like and it gets so warm that it becomes too hot for the traveller to want to wear the coat.
Its something about the art of persuasion… or thermodynamics. Either way it is terrible to be a traveller when the elements are debating.
I’ve been thinking about all the things I should be doing.
I’ve been taught there is too much “should” in the world today.
Dunking the baby in Dee Why rock pool is probably the most fun I’ve had all week. One hour out of my day and out of my usual skin. Never underestimate the power of the ocean to clean your bones.
I have to say that it has taken me too many years to realise the power of letting go. Not the self-guided, self-help, self-aware wanky kind of letting go but the literal letting go. Here is my example. This blog.
A frowned-upon, lazy publishing, know-nothing and yet have something to say space online. It isn’t chiselled, perfected, sacred. It is massive and unruly and simply everywhere.
So give up, give in or just give it a shot and let the criticisms fall like confetti. Harmless, plentiful and possibly soul staining if you cry enough over them.
Here I am, 2008, letting go of html.
Letting loose the seams of my brain.
Letting fly the need for full sentences or rhythmic phrases or smartyfartypants content.