Feeling really down tonight which is bizarre considering it is the end of a very successful working week at a new job. But in the mad rush to get the car from North Sydney to pick up the kids I kept thinking – where has that week gone and I will not get that time back with my kids. How do I come to terms with that?
Well salt&vinegar chips solve most things – let’s try that. Crap, no that didn’t work – what about chilli wasabi mustard sandwich and pepsi? any luck there? nothing filling the hole in my heart.
I *know* every working mother goes through this. They must or maybe they cope or maybe they don’t. I only know that I don’t know. I want to think only about the good stuff. The fact that my new job is better than my old. The fact that I get to see things, strange things, city things. The fact that I am amongst the sprawl again. The fact that I have to take care with myself. Yet here I am thinking – why can’t I live in the garden with my kids? When can that happen? Why is the hole getting bigger? Why won’t the uber super sticky fudgy gooey brownies fill that damn hole!