Changes

This is my first post from the iPad that david bought me the other day. I still don’t know why he bought me one but I think it had a little to do with his desire to play angry birds on a bigger screen and also give our kids a bigger screen for whatever game they are currently playing.
I am hoping that this is all a good thing.. Wondering in what ways it will make me more productive or in what ways I will be driven further to distraction. The biggest concern I have is actually about touch itself. As a child I learnt how to hold a pencil different ways to get different result from the tool…will this experience be absent or minimal for the future generations who can colour in without ever needing to sharpen a pencil? My daughter plays a fashion game she can dress online dolls or characters in different outfits with a swipe and tap of her fingers. I’d challenge any woman to be able to change her outfit in real life with such ease. What are my kids going to miss out on with every new experience technology brings them? The cost of clothing has decreased so much I really don’t know what it’s like to make my own clothes. Skills disappearing over time with each new invention devised to make our lives simpler.
And it makes me wonder…. (stairway to heaven)

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#shithappens

Today’s events just reminded me of the list:

# Taoism: Shit happens.
# Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens.”
# Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
# Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
# Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
# Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
# Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
# Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
# Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
# Episcopalian: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
# Methodist: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
# Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
# Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If shit happens, don’t talk about it.
# Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
# Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it’s okay.
# Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
# Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
# Calvinism: Shit happens because you don’t work.
# Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
# Creationism: God made all shit.
# Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
# Christian Science: When shit happens, don’t call a doctor – pray!
# Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
# Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
# Darwinism: This shit was once food.
# Capitalism: That’s MY shit.
# Communism: It’s everybody’s shit.
# Feminism: Men are shit.
# Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can’t live without us…
# Commercialism: Let’s package this shit.
# Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let’s bronze this shit.
# Existentialism: Shit doesn’t happen; shit IS.
# Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
# Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
# Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
# Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
# Scientology: If shit happens, see “Dianetics”, p.157.
# Jehovah’s Witnesses: >KnockKnock< Shit happens.
# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
# Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
# Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
# Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
# Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
# Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
# Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
# Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism: What shit?
# Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
# Nihilism: No shit.
# Narcisism: I am the shit!

And now:
# Abbottism: It's pretty obvious that, well, sometimes shit happens, doesn't it?

Bishop to King

It’s all wrong and crooked and unsupported. What is? Oh why bother asking like you don’t know or do care. In the end Jill came tumbling after and then what happened. Somewhere between the floods and the rains and the hurricanes and the ankle pain it all became crooked and unsupported.
People live so differently and you often have no idea, assuming everyone lives and thinks as you do. From the jungle tribes to the political diatribe to the inner city better-than-you vibe, it seems like icing on the same damn cake. Except it isn’t.
Fundametal, deep down, in the unpolished diamond of the soul – so very different.
Yes, we were given life, and maybe it is God’s breath down there that makes us human but it is the container that has grown around it that is unique. How do we hold our souls? Are they free to stroll? Or are they nailed to the floor. How can I look with compassion and another look with indifference if we both share the breath of God?
Still we all have the capacity to hack and tear at that container. We all have the ability to bring down what was never ours to even go near in the first place.
All wrong.
All crooked.
Did Jack break the crown of his head or the crown on his head?

Hemming

It was a slow mad rush to get the kids to school this year. I’m never that organised or prepared. I never really did understand napkins but I did understand matching knives and forks. I have only a handful of knives I like – the rest are a tumble of inherited metal that I do not like. Still they have to live somewhere and in my kitchen drawers they live an almost useless life.
What was I saying about matching and organised?
Yes I sent my daughter to school without matching socks and while they were both white one was longer than the other by 2cm. Horror! This oversight has whipped the back of my brain relentlessly. They didn’t match. Would anyone care? Why do I care? What a fool I was to spend all of that time trying to work out how to use my own sewing machine instead of diligently searching for, finding and pairing the odd socks.
And yet, did I waste time with the sewing machine?
I got this machine out that I’m supposed to know how to operate and played with it to the point that I felt just ok enough to hem my daughters uniform. That’s right, I hemmed it. With a machine. Actually 2 if you count the iron as well. I’ve never done that before. I felt a little giddy from the success of my hemming. That critical beast beneath my skin, eyed the job with disgust and added a few more lines to her book “Nasty Things To Say To Poison The Soul Before Self Esteem Might Grow”. One of those things I’m sure was,
“yeah that’s great but what about the socks?”